Pernah tak korang pergi dating lepastu passed by dengan a group of beautiful girls then boipren korang pandang even sekilas kat diorang ?
Pernah tak korang pergi fitting room then orang yang baru keluar dari fitting room tu baru je mencuba baju yang korang nak try at the first time but tak jadi sebab takde size ?
Pernah tak korang pergi restoran memahal pastu ada sorang perempuan cun tengah makan salad and lamb chop korang baru sampai dihantar oleh waiter ?
Pernah tak ?
Pernah tak ?
PERNAH TAK?!
One thing that will arise in us when experiencing such situations ;
INSECURE.
Yes, insecure . Bila perkara-perkara ni berlaku, kita sebenarnya rasa insecure dengan diri sendiri . Biasalah, manusia mana pernah puas dengan apa yang dia ada . Sentiasa ingin menjadi yang terbaik sedangkan sudah termaktub dalam hukum alam - Nobody's perfect .
Kadang-kadang bila kita tengok orang lain, yang lagi cantik , yang lagi pandai , kita mesti akan TERtanyakan soalan ini dalam diri : "Kenapa aku tak boleh jadi macam dia?" Dan soalan tu akan dibiarkan tidak berjawab until when when .
Pernah sekali tu (bercerita lagii..) , I went out dating-studying with my (ex) boyfriend at public library . That time , I was freaking bored after 2hours revising Maths while he was doing his works . This idiot idea was popped up from my mind yet at the end, I was the one who sulked around . Zzzz .
The idea was - there was a group of girls *they aren't pretty, ok a little more than me* passing by our place and I whispered to his ear : 'Look at them, the hot chicks' Then , he TURNED OVER HIS HEAD AND LOOKED AT THEM . Tak berkelip ok, sampai the group hilang daripada pandangan . Apa lagi, terus tersentap dengan perbuatan tersebut, get my ass out of there and lepak dekat tasik sensorang .
But I didn't cry , just shocked and devastated on his action . Then, I went to the public toilet nearby, and looked myself into the mirror . "Apa kurangnya aku?" Cey, mula dah touching bagai . But seriously, sebut je 'hot chicks' , dia terus cari and pandang tak berkelip . Kamon, (ex) galpren kau kat sebelah je kot time tu .
Ok, itu cerita part sedih . Part yang mengenang nasib diri . Ini part gembira .
Haritu, baru je lagi . Time kat kafe , beratur kemain panjang lagi time nak beli makanan . Tengah beratur tu, orang orang orang depan tengah bayar kat kaunter . Dia lawa , serious tak tipu . I kinda adore her somehow sebab kulit dia flawless lepastu tinggi and kurus macam model .
Dah bayar, dia duduk kat tempat dia . But this time, not the way she ate that attracted my sight but things that she ate . She ate alot . Like seriously . Nasi dia banyak gila, lauk takyah cerita . Tapi dia still makan dengan penuh kesopanan . So, I was guessing ; Maybe dia makan untuk malam sekali kot . Like I always did .
But my assumption was wrong . Malam tu, bila nak ke koperasi, kena lalu kafe . Then nampak dia tengah tulis makanan yang dia nak order sampai kata kat pakcik tu , "Cepat sikit tau pakcik, saya dah lapar ni" Ternganga mulut ni sampai ke koperasi sana :O
That's why I came out with this post with such title . The title is a fact ok , human nature . Rasa insecure ni sebenarnya ada dalam diri semorang . Sebab kita tak perfect . Besides, kita tak pernah bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada . Kita ada ni, tapi kita nak tu jugak . Kita ada A, kita nak B pulak . Bila tak dapat, kita akan terkilan . Itulah hakikatnya .
Tapi bila difikirkan balik, kenapa kita nak rasa insecure ? Apa kurangnya kita ? OKU ke ? Orang OKU pun boleh dapat masuk universiti , orang OKU pun boleh berlakon dalam cerita 'Airmata Kasih' (pakai tibai je) . Boleh je golongan ni berjaya . The point that Im tryna say here is we aren't like them . So, we have lotsa advantages than them . But why we still can't do it ? Overcome the insecurity and face the world with proud ?
Because we don't believe on ourselves . Yes, that's the reason . Because we have set our minds , what's do and what's don't . What's should and what's shouldn't . What's can and what's can't . Like we know our abilities and capabilities without trying it first . People always scare to try something new, because their expectations will be 'first trial,need to get first place' .
If kita nampak orang lain cantik, and kita pun nak jadi macam tu , apa salahnya kita try untuk jadi macam tu ? For self-satisfaction . For self-esteem . For yourself . You don't have to wait someone to be your catalyst to do the changes . For example , your partner . If you wanna be someone new, I bet your loved ones won't stop . Plus, they might like it too .
So now, stop grieving and make a move . Say 'Im useful' insetad of 'Im useless' . Encourage others who feel the same way you feel now . Then , you'll see a reflection of you on them . You'll see how pathetic you are . Stop it right away and make a change .
You are beautiful .
Just the beauty in you isn't your taste .
Ps : Everyone is special . Yet, everyone is same .
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