Sunday, January 22, 2012

Darkest Post

Creepy ? Scary ? Horror ? Are you afraid of dark ?

Cerita 'Are You Afraid of Dark' best . Dulu time kecik-kecik suka tengok, eventhough tahu mengarut meraban punya cerita yet it was the best horror movie for me . Ok, bukan nak cerita pasal tu sebenarnya .

Mesti ramai yang tak sangka yang si Durra ni pernah masuk asrama . Yezza, it was SEMESTA , Sekolah Menengah Sains Tengku Abdullah, Raub Pahang . I like that school, it is awesome but there was something that I hate .. something that I...afraid of .

During my days there , in a week , countless times I passed out . Especially during the assembly period . Dah pengsan tu, selalu nya dibawa ke klinik desa kat pedalaman tu dan masuk 2-3 botol air . And again, I skipped lotsa classes sampai classmates pun dah tak tulis my name in 'Borang Kehadiran Pelajar' . Hehe .

I lost weight like a lot, my face was dull and looked really like a sick people and I lost my appetite . Dah macam Kak Limah, cuma Kak Limah duduk kat rumah, aku duduk asrama . K tak lawak . Until one day, which I think that day was the climax part of my suffer, I was sent to Hospital Raub by an ambulance . Hebat kan ? And seronok duduk dalam ambulans . Bukan senang ok pengguna jalan raya nak bagi jalan . Only two vehicles which they will give a space to : the King's car and an ambulance . So, I was so prouddd ~ *bangga*

I stayed for a night there . Sangat lifeless bila kau takde geng nak borak : katil sebelah kiri , makcik tua baru lepas operate while sebelah kanan takde katil sebab dekat dengan pintu . Tv pun harap maklum jela, ala-ala zaman 60an dulu . I stayed there for two days and only the second day , my parents came and took me home .

Rest tak rest sangat lah kat rumah , but honestly , I felt different . That feeling when you don't belong to that place . That feeling when you keep thinking over and over again about your school . Seriously . I didn't feel like I was home . Felt like I was still there, in SEMESTA . Jasad dirumah, minda di SEMESTA . Seemed like my mind had been captivated and locked down . And it was tiring . Really tiring .

Atuk perasan something different about me . Less talking, quiet a lot with zero glare and plain face expression . Adding with severe headache . Atuk pun ajak lah pergi berubat . Pergi sampai ke Melawati sana . Actually, I tried two methods in curing my illness : modern way and of course, traditional way . Nanti cerita about the modern way . Ok, back to the Melawati thing . Sampai sana , I was asked to answer several questions which I never thought the questions were accurately describing my situation without me telling the story . Pakcik tu tanya ' Dekat sana (asrama) selalu sidai baju malam-malam ke? ' ' Tempat sidai kain tu gelap ke ? Dekat dengan padang ? ' 'Selalu pergi sorang-sorang kan?' Pakcik ni kalah team Ghost Adventures .

Then he gave me a coin and it was one cent . Dia lipat dalam kertas putih and he asked me to bring along that coin wherever I go . Better buat rantai katanya, but then I decided to put in my purse . Dia pun bagi air, suruh mandi and minum . This time , pakcik ni lebih Islamik sikit because there was no yellow cloth hanging around, kemenyan and stuffs . I tried this method and it last for almost a month .

I told you before that I also used the modern way to cure my illness , right ? One terrible night , waktu tu lepas manghrib . I passed out all of sudden and had breathing problem . My dad sent me to PPUM and I was rushingly sent to the Acute Disease section something . I spent two nights there . Around 11pm, a doctor came and checked on my condition . I was weak, could barely response to all his questions . And guess what, he gave his final diagnose by saying that 'Need to seek for a psychiatrist' Kurang ajar . Dia fikir aku ada mental problem ! I went through a brain scan , I think it was MRI because I suffered a heavy headache and they were afraid if I had a brain tumour or something . Finally , I was diagnosed to have migraine . Yes, I have migraine since I was form 1 .

To be honest, these two methods don't help me that much . I myself who need to put more efforts in getting myself cured . I try to adapt with surrounding, and slowly forget my past . I decided to change my school , although it was hard to see your name been cleared on the students' list name . But life must move on and I don't regret with my decision .

Almost two months I left SEMESTA . Until this one night , right on 12am on the 13th April 2006 , Thursday's night, I woke up from a terrible nightmare, with crying and shivering . In that dream, I found myself in SEMESTA . Standing alone at the path connecting the academic block and hostel block . That path actually has oil palm trees which we the students been told, a kid was died there and he always plays around the trees . He loves to play hide-and-seek . At the school field, a student was died because the goal pole hit his head and his head.. you know what I mean .

Back to the dream , I stood silently without moving an inch . Later, came a banshee and I froze . The banshee lifted me up and took me down at the someone's orchard behind the school compound . I opened my eyes and saw people sitting around me . Immediately, I woke up and I screamed . I cried so badly , hell scared . That night , I slept in the hall, with all my family members . Now, it has been almost 6years after the dream , but until now I can't stop thinking :

Why am I dreaming about that school after I left it for two months ?

Is there has something that wants me to be there ?

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