Saturday, July 30, 2011

In A Relationship

I had the worst time last week . Being in a post-breakup situation - it's hard . Freaking hard . I met like a bunch of girlfriends to ask for their opinions . They hugged me, they cheered me, but nothing was last . My heart hasn't recovered yet . But Im slowly waking up, trying to get along with this new so-called life . It's different when at one time , you used to share your life with someone and suddenly, you realize that you are now all alone . It's hurting me so much . Indeed .

I know he doesn't want this too . I know him well . People may say anything about him but at the end of day, they don't even know him . But I know . I know everything, from the beginning till now . I know the reason why he's doing this , i know why he wants to be apart . Yet, his love is still lingering over me and at this moment, I still can feel his presence . Right next to me . I know he still loves me .

I met my girlfriends and we had one-to-one conversation . But most of them gave me almost the same advice - depends on me . How it can be 'depends on me' when I can't even think straight now ? My life is screwed up, imma tell'ya . I can't focus in my classes . Until this one fine evening, I met this girl . She's my classmate in netball class . After the class, I asked for her time to accompany me . And she didn't refuse my request . Thankfully .

She's beautiful , she's polite . I like her style , simple but nice . Her voice is soft yet she loves to be the first person to start any of conversations within her colleagues . Even we aren't not that close, but I think she can help me . Then, we started the conversation .

After she listened to my feelings , I asked her " What should I do?" And she only replied me , with the answer that I've been waiting - "Keep waiting him" and then she smiled . I felt curious, and I asked her why should I ? She answered me with this confession , and I cried when I heard it .

" Because he's still alive . You're lucky enough , Durra . Not like mine . He's gone , forever . He's dead a few years ago . And he's gonna be my last love . He was great and I never regret for being with him . In your situation, at least you still can contact him , know about his updates . But me ? The thing that only left for me is his love and our memories . He's irreplaceable . If you really love him , then wait for him . "

"He doesn't leave you without no reason . He wants you but not at this moment . If you told me just now, that he could even waited for you for almost 4years , why can't you ? From your story, it's not his fault or yours . It's just a matter of time . If both of you are destined to be together , then nothing can stop your love . Unlike me, we were together for a short moment . Yet , it was the best moment that ever happened in my life . When the time comes, you'll be together back . Welcome to the real love , my friend . A forever lasting love ."

When I heard it, I hugged her and praised her for being such a tough person that I ever met . She didn't cry when she shared with me about her story , but I did . The most touched love story I ever heard . She gave me a new perspective about love . Love doesn't mean you need to be each other at most of the time . Love needs sacrifice . Love can't be forced . Love is about knowing your partner well . Love is more than everything . People might dies, but not love . Love is .. love .

Now I understand it . The game of my life . How to play it and how to win it . All I have to do is stay strong and observe the surrounding in my ways to achieve my goal . About love, yes, I won't give up . Because for me , one year is more than worth . He is worth , our love is worth . He might be with someone else , but I don't mind . Because I know, only winner will survive . Not the loser . He will be the one who stands besides me on the altar, he will be the one who accepts my 'kabul' . Yes, only him . Forever and always .

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